Walk Away Power
by
Jan Tincher

Do you have walk-away power? Are you a parent, a boss,
someone in charge of people?

Do you hate it when you end the conversation with words like
*You'll be sorry if you don't do what I say!*? You probably
don't say it, but do you think it? Do you tell someone to do
something and they don't . . . and you explode? Do you say
to yourself, *I knew that would happen!*?

How about trying walk-away power in these instances? After
all, if you're pretty sure they're really not going to do it
anyway, at least give them the *option* to not do it.

Why not rehearse? In your mind, run through a scenario where
you were almost bursting a gasket when you told someone to
do something. Who was in control in that scenario? Not you,
that's for sure. Well, let's do something about it.

Go stand in front of a mirror. Rehearse these two little words
that could save your life. Say them several times, until they
become second nature to you. Maybe add *I'd like . . .* in the
beginning like this: "I'd like _______________ by tomorrow
afternoon." *Or not.* Do you feel the pressure dwindle? "Or
not" is like an escape valve. Say "Or not" either in your mind or
out loud and feel the pressure evaporate.

Let's take a look at that. You've just given someone an order
and you feel the conflict from them immediately. If there's a
conflict, that's when you say "Or not." out loud. You can say
it flippantly if you like, but I've found that if you look them
in the eye and say "Or not" it makes them think. Give them an
opportunity instead of an order.

Then, walk away. Now, what are the consequences? What happens if
they don't do whatever? Well, let's look at it this way. What
happened before when they didn't? I've found that people respond
much better, and sooner, when given an option. If you are a
control freak, this is especially for you.  You have to take care
of yourself and release the pressure gauge. Use this method and
feel your blood pressure recede to normal.

Walk-away power is a must in almost any area. Why?
Simply because if you *care* too much, you lose. YOU are
the one that feels the pressure, the anguish, whatever. Let
whatever happens, happen. Then DEAL WITH IT. Deal with it calmly
and effectively. People will notice the change and do what they
can to help. You'll achieve a lot more than you know, and your
doctor appointments will prove this out.

Thanks for reading, Jan

Copyright 2000, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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Jan Tincher is a Hypnotherapist and Master Neuro-Linguistic
Programmer. She writes a unique free weekly e-zine, *Tame
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